I am a self-confessed drama queen. I get it from my dad. We tend to ‘enjoy’ blowing things out of proportion, to the frustration of others around us. The past few years I have noticed that I have started irritating myself with this faux queen mentality.
Drama Queens do not exactly fit into what God calls His royal priesthood, do they!
If something happens that threatens my security I freak out. Only the past two years I have been trying to discipline myself to stop freaking out and take it to the Lord. I don’t know why I just do not learn my lesson quicker, because every time I do leave it completely in His hands it turns out so great!
It is South Africa’s tax return season right now and our revenue services are excellent at processing it timely and accurately.
Two weeks ago, my husband called me at work, livid, saying how they have processed his tax return claiming that he owes them R30000.00! Thirty thousand Rand! That’s a whole car!
I was immediately gripped by fear. What made me worry that this was not a mistake on their part is that they explained to my husband in detail as to why he owed them that money and it made sense. I never understand tax! Me and figures are a no go.
I allowed thoughts of how long this was going to take to pay back and how it was going to interfere with us saving for private schooling. One big old interference. The Drama Queen said, “Great! Now my child has to go to an anti-Christian government school!” And so the tears began to flow at my desk. How embarrassing. Satan was laughing. God was sighing I’m sure.
Like a “true warrior” for Christ, I sulked for the rest of the day. On the way home in traffic my lip that was dragging on the floor got in the way of my clutch. And this silent voice whispered, “You don’t think I’m bigger than thirty grand?” I may have sensed a raised eyebrow.
That night I decided to grow up. I took it to Heaven’s Courtroom. To our most faithful and righteous Judge and Jesus as my Advocate.
Parakletos means “called to one’s side” for aid
I needed to see this through God’s eyes and that I can’t always get my way. And when I don’t, He will not leave or forsake me. I genuinely prayed,
“Father, forgive me for allowing fear to grip my heart. I thank You that You have given me a spirit of sound mind (2 Tim 1:7). You are our Judge (Isaiah 33:22), most faithful and true (Rev 19:11). I plead that you keep Satan off of our finances and to not be victorious in plotting to steal from us (John 10:10). I am asking You to judge this situation we have been placed in and truly for Your will to be done. Please judge if my husband has handled his finances righteously. Lord, I thank You that You will judge this according to Your will. Should You render judgement in favour of SARS, I know You will walk us through the next step and that I will learn more from You and grow. I leave this in Your hands. In Jesus name, amen.”
I completely forgot about the entire thing! The peace He gives that surpasses all understanding is something else, isn’t it? (Phil 4:7)
Yesterday, He rendered judgment in favour of US! His judgment included an amount of R13000.00 owed. to. us!
The Lord is gently and patiently helping me to see that if I would just align my heart correctly with His, He leads me to victory, no matter if the result is not what I sought in the first place. Where God is, there’s always victory.
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