Tag Archives: blood of Jesus

How Jesus cleared my hypochondria (depression) in 4 days!

It was 1997 and I had just started University. I don’t like change, never have. So when my school boyfriend of one year broke up with me (cuz it’s all very serious when you’re young you know!) and the comfort and familiarity of my school and friends as well as the classes changed dramatically, depression hit. I was crying throughout the entire night, sleeping for an hour, not eating. I cried during the day. I was just so so sad and depressed.

Somewhere along the line, things got worse. I developed full-blown hypochondria! (Now known as somatic symptom disorder or illness anxiety disorder). I was convinced I had every sickness known to man. A cough meant cancer of the lungs, a headache meant brain tumour, a simple earache meant I was going deaf, you name it. I was a virgin and did not even know what drugs looked like, but after watching Tom Hanks in Philadelphia, yes, I now convinced myself I had AIDS. LOL! I laugh about it now, but at the time it was torture. I was driving myself mad. As soon as you have a minor little ache or pain, out comes the encyclopaedia or Google, and the more you read, the more illnesses you’re convinced you have!  I was born with a cute little birth mark on the back of my neck that looks like a little paw print, and one day when someone commented on it, I decided that the birth mark I knew about for 17 years was now all of a sudden some form of spinal cancer and I would start crying. My family thought this was hilarious and looking back I can laugh, but at the time I was going through sheer mental hell. I never wanted them to know that I was convinced all this was real. Out of all the diseases I had this fear of cancer and every symptom meant I had the dreaded disease. It was so bad that my body ached with short sharp pains the whole day through. Obviously this was my mind’s way of getting off of the break up and drastic change in circumstances, but it was torment nonetheless. A lot of worry, anxiety and major depression. I was convinced that I could take a nurse’s exam and totally pass. That’s how much reading into illnesses and treatment I had done!

One day while waiting for a class to start, I stood up as all the students started going into the lecture hall and I got a bad dizzy spell. I have always had low blood pressure and that has always been common for me, but of course this meant I had a brain tumour. At this point this had been going on for nine months and I had actually had enough of this torment and decided to skip the class and go to the Library – but to read again! But this time it was different. I found a book on aches and pains and decided to go sit at one of the desks and read it as there were no students at the time and it was nice and quiet. As I was approaching one of the desks about to sit down, something told me, for no reason, to go sit at the desk opposite it. As I sat down I looked on the table and someone had engraved “God loves you” into the wood. Something so simple, yet I was flooded with peace. I still had the nerve to read the book and I think I now have a degree graduate level of pains in the body! But when I went home I was so much ‘lighter’, I felt better, more positive.

At the time I was reading a book on one of my favourite authors of all time. She was writing about one of her spiritual warfare encounters that had just gotten too overwhelming and she said that all she had managed to say to God at that exhausting time was “God, this is Your battle, not mine. Thank You for fighting it for me.” That sat so well in my Spirit and I decided then and there that I was going to proclaim that every morning when I woke up until this issue of mine had vanished. As my feet touched the ground I said aloud, “God, this is Your battle, not mine. Thank You for fighting it for me.” I could feel myself getting better each morning and four days later it was gone! Just gone! The pains in my body were gone as well as the tormenting thoughts about my health. I did have to watch them as they still tried to penetrate my mind a few days after that, but I learnt various verses of scripture by heart and would quickly recite them every time they tried coming back. But I was free.
It reminds me of one of my favourite events in the Bible – the battle of Jehoshaphat in 2 Chronicles 20. People had come to him and told him that a vast number of enemies were coming against him, “A great multitude is coming against you from beyond the sea, from Syria; and they are in Hazazon Tamar”  Jehoshaphat freaked and the Spirit of the Lord came upon Jahaziel and said, “Hearken you, all Judah, and you inhabitants of Jerusalem, and you king Jehoshaphat, thus says the LORD unto you, be not afraid nor dismayed by reason of this great multitude; for the battle is not yours, but God’s 2 Chronicles 20:15
After fasting, all they had to do was just stand, and God fought, and won, the battle for them!

I’m not saying that depression and anxiety, or any mental disorder for that matter, can be cured in four days, because it is not time that cures you, but the blood of Jesus that was shed on the cross. I was young, and at that stage I wasn’t as clued up about spiritual warfare or strongholds and authority as I am today. Jesus took the little faith that I had and used it to accomplish a great thing! I wanted to post this because I want people to see that Jesus still heals today – as hard as it feels to overcome the mountain you’re looking at, just. press. on. Proclaim that faith out loud, the devil hates it! Glory be to God! Nothing is too much for Him! How he helped me was painless, free, peaceful, merciful and most of all, gentle. Lean on Him, and He will help you! Be free of your bondage in Jesus’ mighty name! Only He can do it.

You can also check out my other blog that focuses on hypochondria and anxiety

I saw Jesus advertising Coca Cola

Prov 25:2 It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter.

My favourite conversations are about Jesus and what Jesus has done and all the wonderful things He continues to do in my life and others. Nothing gets me more fired up than testimonies and it is what sparked this blog, to glorify Jesus, and in the hopes others may learn from my experiences.

I have been saved since small, and the years have taught me many things. Satan has had it in for me since I was tiny, so I have learnt a lot along the way. I have strong knowledge on spiritual warfare, so it comes to the point where someone asks me something and I am able to answer them right away.

Good? Well….maybe not always.

It was nearing the end of 2011 and I was feeling frustrated as I felt that I wasn’t moving or growing with the Lord all of a sudden. I wanted to do greater things, more things to bring glory to His name. But I felt ‘stuck’. So this had been bugging me for a while and I had prayed numerous times about it.

The one night I had the weirdest dream. I dreamt I was visiting my cousin, who is also saved. I was standing in his bedroom and suddenly noticed a poster positioned on the bottom of the wall. I have no idea why the poster was placed on the bottom of the wall and not at the top like posters usually are.

The poster was of Jesus. It was the picture of Jesus on the day of His crucifixion – I could only see from His bare chest up and He was wearing His crown of thorns drinking a 500ml bottle of Coca Cola. The caption read “Ladies! Why else do you think they call Him ‘Holy Holy Holy’?” (Rev 4:8)
My cousin then walked in looking as surprised as me about the poster. I could see he had not seen it before. We wanted to giggle at the funny caption but then kind of got angry at the blasphemy of it.

Interesting advert for Coca Cola, right!

I then woke up and I thought, “Lord? What on earth are You trying to tell me?”

Was the dream for both of us? I don’t know.

But I had asked one of my sister’s friends who has the blessed spiritual gift of prophecy if she might have an interpretation and this is what she said regarding my cousin who had backslid for many years and rededicated his life to the Lord:

Jesus has been boxed into commercial Jesus, and the true meaning of who He is has been missed. His blood sanctifies us and makes us whole and speaks of covenant (Eph 1:7). That is reflected in the Coke and shows a lack of belief that he has been made whole. The bedroom is significant because that is probably where he spends his time alone with the Lord and speaks of intimacy.”

When I approached my cousin about this he agreed that this interpretation was true.

However, I wasn’t at peace. This dream had to mean something to me too, or else why would the slogan have read “Ladies”?

It took me three weeks of prayer for an answer.

Before reading and studying my Bible I like to pray that God helps me understand what I’m reading and to bless me with wisdom as He wills (James 1:5)

I had turned to the Book of Ephesians and started reading; the Lord had led me there because revelation hit me like a tidal wave. Watchman Nee has stated that spiritual truth comes to us in much the same way a flashbulb would light a darkened room.
I was writing down notes so fast and going “oh my word, oh my word!” afraid I wouldn’t get everything down that was revealed to me.

 Ephesians 1:15-23Therefore I also, after I heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, do not cease to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers: that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him,  the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power which He worked in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places, far above all principality and power and might and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in that which is to come.

And He put all things under His feet, and gave Him to be head over all things to the church, which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all.

Eph 2:5-6even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus…for by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

This is what God laid on my heart about the dream:

God has confirmed, as above, that we are created in Christ for good works, and that He wants us to know what our calling is.
However, looking back at myself, I realise when someone asks me for biblical advice I am all too happy to help and I spew out answers immediately “just because I know the answer.” In essence I was treating Jesus and the Word like a textbook, like something commercial, just to refer back to. Obviously we need to give answers based on scripture, but I think because I am always excited to give an answer and help and teach, I don’t stop to pray about it first. Some instances don’t need an immediate answer, but prayer and waiting on the Lord instead. In hindsight, I sometimes did not check in with God first on what He wanted me to tell this person and receive His direction, but I relied on my own understanding (Prov 3:5). After all, I don’t have the answers, only God does, and He is the source of all wisdom and knowledge.

So at the point I felt I had my head up against a wall, going nowhere and not doing more. The reason for that is I was trying to find more of my calling for God in my own way and time, without leaning on Him for guidance. I’m a bit of a control freak and I guess that spilled over into my spiritual life! I was running, but He waiting for me to catch up in the other direction.

Looking further on in Ephesians God gently showed me that the same power that He used to raise up His precious Son is the same power that works within us! He raised us up together with Christ, and we all sit together in the heavenly places.
So, He has given me the power, as a gift. And in due time He will lead me to what He needs me to do; but I can’t lead myself there or do this on my own. He said, “You have the power because of My Son, but if you go this alone, I’m not coming with you!” Yikes! Then this was confirmed when I turned to Ephesians 2:5-6 and it says that we can’t go around doing things ourselves and then being able to brag about it. If you go it alone without God’s guidance and instruction, you are doing it in your own strength and you will ultimately glorify yourself.

God knows the plans He has for me, and us, (Jer 29:11) but we just need to learn to give up the control mechanisms and submit to His perfect will and reigning authority! Or we go alone. So every time I see the control coming, I remember Jesus taking a sip of Coke 😉